Reflections of 2012

I have been a little emotional as 2012 comes to a close.  It is real easy for me to say "Good Riddance 2012!"  But somehow, I cannot accept that.  Sure there were very difficult times.  The moment my doctor told me on the phone, "unfortunately it is cancer," will forever stay with me.  Between the diagnosis, the surgeries, the chemo etc. I can easily say this was a horrible year.  But was it really horrible?  What if the breast specialist did not come back into the room to look one more time at that spot and become suspicious.  Or the first time I met with my surgeon, she said five different times in 40 minutes, "You are still in good shape! Women your age come to me in advance or aggressive stages."  God did intervene for me and my family.  Every doctor involved referred each other to me and I believe they were the best for me at this time.  My nurses gave me the support needed each time.  Our church family and those in our circle kept close tabs on my family and me.We had support from Alan's students and their families as well as mine.  Our families offered support as well, especially those who had already went through what we were going through. 

A dear sweet "experienced" lady from our church (she prefers that instead of old) who knows all about my Dad's side of the family shared many devotions with me through email.  She reminded me that not only my children are watching how I handle this, but the entire church is watching how I practice my faith.  I was so worried about my children, that I really did not think about the fact that I could teach others much less those older than me how to handle a crisis.  She was right!  Everyone was watching my little family.  I only missed two times singing on the praise team since March.  I read a book almost two years ago called, "Worship as it is in Heaven."  In one of the chapters it talked about the power of music and praise.  Historically musicians were out front of the battle line to scare/intimidate their opponent.   When I got off the phone with my Doctor on that March day, I had three thoughts......"What about my family, the praise team and my students?"  I heard in my head, "I guess you will have to quit the praise team now."  I immediately said, "No way, not an option." I refused to take time off the praise team because I knew I was in a battle and Satan was not going to win.

Cancer does not discriminate and neither does Satan.  Alan and I have held on to different verses from the Bible and one was on our Christmas card and Thank you notes.  

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

I have no doubt that God allowed me to go through this in order to prepare me for the next level.  While I will never forget the events of this past year, I will not dwell on it but look ahead.  As I was receiving my last chemo treatment on November 8, I remembered another favorite verse;  

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14  

Our prayer is you have a blessed and happy New Year!

Christmas 2012

My parents came to our home for Christmas.  My Mom, Andrew and Anna made a Ginger Bread House together.  We decorated cookies and had our traditional Christmas Eve soup. After dinner we lit our Advent candles and my Dad read Twas the Night Before Christmas while my Grandparents listened on speaker phone.  Andrew decided he wanted to read the Christmas Story and he did a great job.  I was so proud of him for doing that.  After the opening of our presents, we made hot chocolate and popcorn with M & M's and watched The Polar Express.  The kids had a hard time going to sleep that night because they knew the stockings were coming in the morning.  They were not disappointed at all.  We got a surprise Christmas morning.............SNOW! We all had a great Christmas.

Fall 2012 Continued and Thanksgiving

Fall continued with Anna putting together a new outfit and the rest of us making candied apples.  I have made carmel apples but never candied apples.  The kids and I watched an episode of Trisha Yearwoods cooking show and she showed how to make candied apples.  Andrew, Anna and I decided that it looked easy enough to do and I had all the ingredients.  It was fun!

We stayed home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I really did not want to travel anywhere and risk getting sick by being in different environments.  I really needed to be in my surroundings.  I actually cooked a whole turkey for the first time.  I have done smaller turkey breast but never a whole turkey.  I was really proud of myself and Alan was quite impressed with the Thanksgiving dinner that Anna and I cooked together.  Anna loves to bake cookies, cakes and pie and she really enjoyed cooking with me this year.

Fall Fun 2012

We all went to a fall fun festival the last Saturday in October at the kids music teacher's church.  We all had a blast playing games, and eating.

Of course we have our costume for Halloween..........

Fall 2012

I didn't realize that I had not posted anything since September.  Time gets away from me.  My chemo continued until November 8.  Things are going well.......not sure when I will feel normal again. 

One morning during October, on my way to school, I realized that I had not done anything with the kids for fall like going to the pumpkin patch, making caramel apples etc.  When I got to school, I had an email from the librarian saying come by and pick up a treat from her.  So I did!  She said she had made gluten free cookies and icing for my kids and I to decorate.  She said she thought about me over the weekend and figured I had been too tired to do anything fun with my kids.  I teared up and told her that I had just thought about how I have not done anything "fun" with my kids yet.  We had fun decorating and  eating the cookies.

Back to School Bash at Oakridge

Anna and Andrew enjoying fun games and bounce houses.

Chelsea and Andrea having a snow-cone break......Andrew and Anna each had TWO snow-cones. They knew that cousin Chelsea would hook them up.

De'Aunn face painting.

Enjoying some live music

Our turn to sing.  Alan was our wonderful sound man!  It was a great evening but when I got home I crashed and didn't wake up until 10 the next morning.  Our praise team is invited to sing at the community wide service on October 7 at North Side Baptist in Weatherford.  We are all excited about this opportunity to lead our community in a few songs.

Our Little Fall Project

I have been on Pinterest for a while but over the summer Anna and I had a daily date with Pinterest.  She enjoyed looking at all the projects as much as I did.  Anna also had to recommend some things to pin too.  Today I went to Michael's and got pumpkins, paint and ribbon to make one of the Pinterest inspired projects.  This is what Anna and I came up with.

The A and W is obvious and the pink is for breast cancer awareness month coming up in October.  We still need a ribbon for the orange pumpkin.  Anna is quite proud of our little project.

It is such a cool day that Andrew and I went over to a nature park by our house and went for a 30 minute walk along the trails. We even found a baseball on one of the trails that came from the nearby baseball fields Andrew plays at. 

Alan is glued to the TV for college football..............some things never change around our house.

Lego Kids Fest in Austin

Andrew was invited by a friend at church to go with him and his family to Austin to the Lego Kids Fest.  It is Kellen's Birthday present from his parents and he had an extra ticket and wanted Andrew to go.  Andrew is in Lego heaven this weekend.  This is his first trip away from home not with family.  Erin and Josh updated us regularly through text and Facebook and here are a few of pictures.

Anna did not feel left out at all.  She has enjoyed being an only child this weekend.  A few years ago, a teacher friend loaned me a book called the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  I know that Andrew and I share the same one, words of affirmation and Alan and Anna share the same one as well, quality time.  One of my closest friends (who is my preacher's wife) and I had plans to go shopping on historic York Street yesterday and have lunch.  She said bring Anna along and of course, Anna is all girl and had the time of her life shopping and telling me what would look good on me.  She has become my little fashion expert and has been since she was four years old.  She has bounced around the house and been my little shadow and Friday, I found her in the kitchen, emptying the dish washer and wiping down the cabinets without being asked.  Since she did such an amazing job on the kitchen, I told her I would buy her something on York Street.  We went in an antique shop and she found a lady bug Happy Napper.  I gave her a pillow pet for Christmas last year and after that she said that she needed a Happy Napper too.  All I have heard about for 9 months is Happy Napper.  I love a great deal and they had them marked down to $10.  I was very happy to buy that for her.

Andrew is due to arrive home soon and I know I have missed Andrew and so has Anna, but she really enjoyed this extra special time with us and so have we.  

This lady bug turns inside out into a house with a door bell..............then this house becomes the pillow.

Crazy Things I do When it is Chemo Day!

I apparently do not handle some of the meds the nurses give me very well.  The week that they tried to prevent me from getting sick, was probably the funniest.  Sadly, I am just told I what I did, I do not remember most of it.

The nurses and Alan have told me stories that are crazy.  My nurse asked me if someone is going to drive me home.  I told her that Alan would be back later.  She said good because we are going to make you drunk today.  I looked at her funny and just thought she kidding or being funny.  They gave me bags and bags of meds.  My nurse asked me about an hour later, "Are you drunk yet?"  I said to her, "I don't know! I have never been drunk before."  One of the meds given made me want to move around so much I could not sit still.  I was taking a chemo treatment at that moment that requires me to be as still as possible.  I stood up and started talking loudly and running in place trying to get all the energy out.  When that happened, the nurses called my doctor and she had them remove the anti nausea patch from my neck.  My nurse then said to me ( I remember this part) lets move you to the back corner because you will not get any sleep with that lady snoring.  Looking back now, I am sure that was her nice way of removing me because I kept talking and moving my head from left to right.  I am so glad there were no videos recording me.  I finally fell asleep but when I woke up, I had several text messages waiting.  I have learned especially since Thursday, Alan should take my phone from me on chemo days.  I do not make any sense and I make up new words when people are texting me.  It is funny because when I am  texting, it looks right to me but later when I am a little more alert, I see what I actually wrote.  It is just CRAZY. 

The night of that particular incident, I had praise team rehearsal for the Peach Festival that Saturday.  I was not sick at all so the meds helped.  But what happen during rehearsal was again, crazy.  I wore a head band in my hair and I do not know why.  We rehearsed in the foyer and Alan was running the sound.  My headband kept falling off my head and I got frustrated and threw it across the foyer.  At another point I decided to put my microphone down and go listen to the sound and walk around listening to everybody.  I am so glad that my team understood that I was not my real self and just went along with what I was doing.  By the next morning I became more alert and remembered bits and pieces of the day before.  I had a lot corrections to make in my texting and then Alan told me what I was like all day.

This past Thursday, was the first of 12 doses of Taxol.  Dr. Young decided to give me Adavan (anti nausea that can cause me to act crazy once again).  My mom ask one simple question in a text message and the first time I responded it was all crazy and I tried to correct a second time and it was worse the second time.  I did sleep a little and when I got home, I thought I felt fine and alert and could do anything.  After dinner, Alan and I were watching TV in our room and all of the sudden I decided it was time to make cupcakes.  Now usually I have to have a reason to make cupcakes.  I just don't randomly decide to make cupcakes.  Again, Alan really needs to stop me next time from cooking, baking, texting, emailing etc. I got all the ingredients out, bowls, mixer, and spatula.  I put a stick of butter in the microwave and melted it.  I put ingredients in, mixed it up and poured the batter very carefully into each cupcake liner, making sure it is nice and neat.  I put it in the oven, they bake, and I pull them out when the timer went off.  I then let them cool and later iced them.  I even splurged and ate one and put the rest up.  The next morning I wake up and go into the kitchen to make my tea and I open the microwave to find my bowl of melted butter still there and not in the cupcakes. Alan just laughs and says, they still taste good. 

All I can do is laugh at myself.  I am sure when I start teaching next week, there are going to be some funny moments and memories made.  It is good thing that I have a great co-teacher and great students.

First Day of School 2012

Andrew and Anna's first day of school was August 16, 2012 and this year I was not sick (like last year).  I actually got to take them and walk them to their classrooms this year.  This is the first year I have been able to do this.  I enjoyed every minute of it.

It was Dad's first day too!  He wanted his picture taken and he wanted a first day of school treat just like the kids get.

While the kids were at school, I made them ( and Alan) cupcakes and sugar free cherry koolaid for their back to school treat that I do every year.  I enjoyed being a stay at home mom for two days. :-)

A Trip to Memphis with Gran and Grandad

On August 4 we met my parents in Texarkana and they took Andrew and Anna back to Memphis with them for a week.  Andrew and Anna were quite excited.  They could not sleep the night before and after we ate lunch, they could not get Gran and Grandad's car packed fast enough and get in the car forgetting to tell us bye.  We had to open the doors and get a hug and when Alan and I were getting ready to pull out, we kept waiting for our kids to look at us and wave but they were too busy.  I am not sure how I felt about that............I couldn't even get a wave goodbye.  We gave up and drove off.  We did skype with them several nights and they did not seem to get home sick.  They had a lot of fun in Memphis.  I asked them how church was and they said , "It is the same as Nana and Papa's Church in Midland,  you know, the same kind of songs." 

Alan and I enjoyed a quiet house, watching movies, resting and enjoyed being together.  I actually felt great that week and had the last of the first round of chemo drugs and did not get sick! Yes!!!!  We did drive to Texarkana the next Friday and I used points for a free night at La Quinta.  I figured it would be easier on me since I had a treatment on Thursday.  We ate a quick dinner at Chick-Fil-A and went to see the new Borne movie.  I need to see that again when I am a little more alert and not on anti nausea meds.  I stayed confused the entire movie.  Alan tried to "interpret" for me.  We spent most of Wednesday watching all three previous Borne movies to refresh my memory..............like I said, I need to watch the new one again later.

The next day we met my parents and the kids at Jason's Deli to eat lunch and take the kids back home.  I did enjoy the week break but I was happy to see my kids again.

Before they left for Memphis, I told Andrew and Anna to cherish this time. I remember spending a week with my Grandparents at different times and those are memories that are precious and will not forget.  I told them they will always remember this.  They did make great memories!  They could not stop talking about the week with Gran and Grandad.

70 Years..............A Legacy To Follow

My Grandparents were married August 25, 1942 on a Lunar eclipse.  This weekend was chosen to celebrate their anniversary before everyone starts school again.  Some of the family attended while others just could not make it work and they were very missed. It was very small, but very nice.

Tim, Darla Johnson and their family Bethany, Chelsea, De'Aun and Ashleigh, Steven and Yana Campbell. Kent and Diana Hawley, Cedric, Melanie, Brett and Nathan Hawley, Alan, Abigail, Andrew and Anna Weaver, Darla's Dad and step Mom, Aunt Myrtle (Marie's older sister) Ed  and Beth Fore, George and Sharla Fore were there to celebrate.  We had a BBQ Lunch that Darla made and was very good.  Beth read a poem she wrote in honor of Ellmore and Marie's 70 years together.  Some stories were told and then most everyone enjoyed some cake.  One story told was that as soon as they married they went to get on a bus for Wichita Falls and everyone followed them to the bus and threw rice on them.  One old lady on the bus got hit with rice and she stood up and said I am too old for this wedding stuff! She shook the rice off her dress.  Four weeks later this young couple moved to Medford, Oregon.  Ellmore's Dad told him because of the war, they would not make it past New Mexico.  They obviously made it to Medford where Granddad preached and the arrival of my dad came a year later.  They went home for Christmas and did not go back to Oregon because they missed being close to family.  Granddad then began preaching in Stanton, TX.

I am so thankful that I was able to make it and be there.  I was concerned since I was having Chemo treatment on Thursday before.

  Great Grandparents with the Great Grandchildren that were present. Brett, Nathan, Andrew, Great Granddad Johnson, Great Grandmother Johnson, Anna, and Yana.
Missing from this group, Rachel, Kate, Mark Johnson, Jocelyn Johnson.

The Grandparents with the Grandchildren present.  Cedric, De'Aun, Chelsea, Bethany, Ashleigh
Abigail, Granddad Johnson and Grandmother Johnson. Missing from this group is Matthew Johnson, Jonathan Johnson, Angela Huffman and Amanda Hawley.

There was a picture taken with everyone but because Alan was in it too, he could not take the picture.  Hopefully Ashleigh will get me a copy.

Lego Land with the cousins

Andrew and Anna got a special invite by Aunt Darla to go with my Aunt Diana, Cousin Cedric and his wife Melanie, their boys Brett and Nathan and of course Bethany, Chelsea and De'Aun to Lego Land Friday.  This is the first time Andrew and Anna have met their second cousins Brett and Nathan and Andrew fit right in with his boy cousins.  Of course they have something in common, STAR WARS!  I think he was just thankful not to be ganged up by more girls.  Andrew and Anna have been to Lego Land twice now and Alan and I have not been once............How does that happen?  We actually both had other plans and Darla was kind enough to invite and take them.  Anna enjoyed getting to spend time with De'Aun and Chelsea and her new friend Taylor that also went along.

Nathan, Brett and Andrew

Cedric, Melanie, and boys on a ride

Anna, Bethany and Nathan, a boy Bethany works with everyday are building away.

Another Ride!

De'Aun, Anna and Taylor

Aunt Diana joining in!

Chelsea braided Anna's hair.......how pretty!

Race Time!

Watch out Officer Anna is coming after you!

What? Andrew a policeman too?

He takes his job so seriously........

The end of a fun day!

As shy as Anna is, she really connected to De'Aun, Chelsea and Aunt Diana at Lego land.  I am so proud of her.  I saw her talking to all three at the anniversary party and hugging each one.  She really enjoyed herself.  Andrew just hung out with the boys and fellow Starwars fanatics and he really liked them a lot.